I wrote this for a girl I will not name. She lives inside of me, she lives outside of me, she cries when no one is around. She listens to those voices in her head that tells her life isn’t worth living. I wrote this to give her more hope to hang onto to drown out those voices in her head that lie to her, just like they lied to me and every other women, man or child that’s ever had more pain than they thought they could bear. Let go Love—seek out the city where you can fly free. ~Cavern Girl dedication, by Tiffany Q.
When I was younger it was in the spring that my daydreams of flying kites became real. With all my pennies in tote, I would head to 7-eleven to purchase a few kites. At the football field, I would lay them all out. I had to be extra careful with the flimsy plastic diamond-like shape kites, sticks and colorful tails.
Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country. ~ Anais Nin
At the park, I would hold the kite high and wait for the wind. If I felt the slightest tug, I would begin to run hoping it would set sail into the sky. Even if the kite came crashing down to the ground, I continued. I was hopeful as the kite dragged behind me that it would lift at any time, but it never happened. I would stuff the damaged kite back in its wrapping and open the next kite. I would repeat this same process; hold it to catch the first wind, release it, crash! Next, I decided instead of waiting on the wind, I would fling the kite in the air. Nope, it did not work and the kite would come crashing down. Even on a day when there wasn’t any wind, I still persisted.
Don’t be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against; not with; the wind. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
Things became hopeless when all the kites ended up damaged, but I persisted and hunted for the perfect sticks to bring my kites back to life. This gave me hope. It took me hours to find the right sticks, they had to be the perfect width and length. Then I would fling it in the air again and hope that the wind would carry it into skies.
There were days when it all lined up and the kite took off. I felt accomplished those days. I felt like a part of me soared with that kite. I dreamed of having the kite lifting me into the skies and taking me places that I had never been before. As a young child, I didn’t wish to be rich except to have all the candy money could buy. My dream those days was to be a veterinarian. I wanted to care for all the dogs that I read about in the encyclopedia Britannica.
Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. ~Lauren Bacall
Kite season for me lasted as long as 7-eleven sold kites. Most times before the season was over, I would have ran out of pennies and relinquish to asking my grandfather for money to buy more kites. I was shy, so I choose to write him a letter asking for money. I would use that same house magnet I always used, with blue writing on it to hold my letter in place. I would jump up out of bed in the morning to collect my money from my grandmother with whom he would leave it with.
I remember on one of those mornings when the letter seemed to be untouched. I was disappointed because I knew that he had not seen the letter. I decided to come up with another plan, I put the letter on his dresser. That did not work, and I worried myself so much that I barely slept that night. The next morning, I woke up in time to ask him. Even though my shyness kept me from asking for a lot of things in my younger years, my desire to have a kite would not. It is because of my desire, I got the money that morning.
True courage is like a kite; a contrary wind raises it higher. ~John Petit-Senn
It was after reading an article today about the nostalgic moments of kite flying that I recalled my own childhood memories of soaring high. How this moment and moments like these added to my growth and instilled within me the wherewithal to never give up. I tell myself daily that I must go for what I want no matter my circumstances. I must stand up for what I believe in. I must find the strength that resides within me and use it to push through my fears. I must fight. I must remain open.
I must make company with persistence. There are so many angles that opportunities to succeed present themselves in all situations and with a burning desire, the universe will get as creative as I will allow it.
**P.S. – Your support would mean the world.
Things Do Fall Apart
by Tiffany Hair