From the Friend in Me, to the Friend in You

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward.” –Soren Kierkegaard

It was the friend in me that shared a time when I was afraid to walk away. For lack of communication, I found it hard to express how I felt. I wasn’t mature enough to express what I wanted to myself, let alone to the person I planned to share my life with. It took years of false starts and broken promises before I woke-up one day and understood that it was imminent, I had to leave.

It was the friend in me that shared that jobs will come and go. I say walk away if you find yourself feeling the tug of a greater calling. Yes, it takes planning and faith when your family depends on you. There are ways to make this a reality and if you’re focused and determined the door of opportunity will present itself like it has done for me time and time again. The fear of walking away from a paycheck ever two-weeks will paralyze you for a second but as the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Save and plan well in advance or if you’re bold take a leap of faith—I’ve done both and found that the fear is greater if you choose the latter but they both are equally liberating.

It was the friend in me that shared I’m afraid to let go, I spoke a truth about what it’s like when forgiveness is the only way. I dug deep into my closet and pulled out a childhood trauma that I knew would show her that there was no other way. It’s not about the other person, it used to be, it’s about you forgiving yourself. Live and be loved. Use the thing that tried to destroy you as an example of all the cards you’ve been dealt that turned into a handful of aces.

It was the friend in me that shared that trusting yourself is the best policy. How much advice do you need if you are telling yourself the truth—not much? Go into your safe space and I bet that if you can be honest with you then the less advice you’ll need. Trust yourself. I did when a client stalled after meetings to pay the invoice. Or when she used her title of Bishop to manipulate me. A few phone calls, meetings, and a game of hit and miss and it was clear, she wanted a business contract stamped FREE SERVICES.

It was the friend in me that shared that being a single mother is hard. It is when you don’t ask for help. As hard as it is sometimes to ask, I do. For every time I had to ask, I have to admit to myself that I can’t do it all, I feel defeated for a short while. Then I think of all the people who love me and my girls and I know how disappointed they would be if they knew I didn’t even ask them to help out.

It is the friend in me who wants to share with the world how easy life would be if you understood the gift of your experiences, I say, share for the sake of liberating others–the reward is your own liberation.

It is the friend in you who can make it your mission to build a bridge over the pitfalls that others would have otherwise fallen in. Your experiences can help people cross their troubled waters.

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