The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it. ~Chris Pine
Baptized twice, once when as a little girl and later as a young adult. Being reared by my mother and grandparents I knew the importance of belief. To have a force to lean on greater than myself, man, woman, or child made life easier to navigate. They instilled in me that God could change things around in my favor when everything that could go wrong in life caused me pain. God was the reason for everything good that happened. I prayed for everything. Even when I felt like my prayers went unanswered I continued to pray.
I became discouraged after a while when for all the prayers, good work, and service I performed never seemed to amount to a reward worthy enough by my standards. In my discouragement, I changed course—I decided as a pre-teen that when I left my mother and grandparent’s house, I would never go to church again. This was equivalent to, I will leave the business of God behind. This became my reality.
It was in my late 20’s that I would revisit God’s role in my life. It was a dark period. I remain puzzled about what happened although far removed. I began to seek confirmation that God existed. I found that there is a force, the title was irrelevant, that does exist. This discovery granted me peace and comfort. I am grateful because I felt hopeless. This is something that has continued to happen in my life. And even if it’s like someone suggested, that people see what they want to see or people believe what they want to believe, so be it. I needed, I saw it, I believe it. And that’s way better than crushing anxiety and stress.
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever needs to be done, it’s always your choice. ~Wayne Dyer
I understand that through this discovery that my belief in myself is just as vital as my belief in a higher power. For all the seeking, fighting, resisting, confusion, paranoia, and sadness, I learned a valuable lesson. That the more I sought the God of my mother and grandparent’s the more I felt empowered. It always began and ended with me.
What do I mean by it began and ended with me? I have a choice in everything.
This knowingness is powerful. I have at any given time in my life the ability to focus on a belief that empowers or a belief that leaves me feeling defeated. Like all things of value, training your mind to focus on positivity takes work. And I’m here to tell you that it’s not easy for anybody! At any given time even people with a positive outlook can stumble and fall. As we all know, our lives take on the problems of our whole communities. With a regime in place, you decide how long any pity party will last. I have one that works for me that includes music, books, YouTube videos, clubs, supportive friends, volunteer opportunities, and meditation. I work this regime in some capacity every day. I urge you to find what works for you. Work at it until it becomes as simple as putting on your shoes in the morning.